Thursday, 8 January 2015

Dear Me; A Letter to My Pregnant Self


Dear Me,

Hey you. I'm writing to you from the future, and guess what? You can stop worrying - you have a happy, healthy baby boy and he's gorgeous.

Firstly, rest! Stop fretting and just rest.

What you don't realise right now is that being pregnant suits you; once that baby bump has gone (and is replaced by more fat - honestly, ease up on all the chocolate) you're going to miss it. That feeling that he is in there, kicking and rolling around is going to go and you will feel a little empty, and a little sad. For a few weeks, you're going to find yourself still holding your belly a little, like you do now. Enjoy it while you can.

Your hubby Luke is also going to miss you being pregnant. He loved you carrying his baby, and he will tell you just how much he misses it. Stop worrying that he doesn't like you when you're tired and too pregnant to fit behind the tables in Morrisons cafe; honestly, he doesn't care. 

I know you're worrying about the labour. I know you're scared. I probably should tell you that it doesn't go swimmingly. You'll be 2 weeks late, none of the 'sweeps' they do will work, your feet will be hugely swollen and they will have to induce you. Once that starts - boy it hurts! But, you amaze yourself. You amaze Luke. You don't moan, scream and shout during the labour. You get your head down, your chin tucked in and you focus your whole energy on doing what needs to be done. You get completely in the zone - just the same way you tackle everything - by doing it yourself. Don't worry - Luke will be there. He's supportive as always, but he knows you. He knows not to tell you what to do or give you lame 'inspiring words of wisdom'. He also knows not to breathe loudly or bite his nails - you made that VERY clear.

Things will stop and the midwife will tell you that something is wrong. Don't panic. You'll cry and you will feel as though you have failed, that you couldn't even give birth right. But it isn't you. The baby's head has turned back (he's a stubborn little monkey) and he's gotten stuck. They have to help you get him out. 

The Doctors will come in and explain things to you. They will ask you to sign lots of consent forms - just do it. It will be fine. Emergency theatre will be scary, and when you look back at Luke as the doors close you will see that he is terrified and crying. But don't feel so scared - everything works out fine in the end.

It's true that the first few days with your baby are scary, but guess what? You do fine! You were so worried about being a bad mum that you make sure that you aren't and you surprise yourself. You actually love being a mum and you're not too bad at it! Luke will struggle a little - he needs far more sleep than you realised and he will constantly say "I'm tired". But he will be there and do just as much as you. He will be a brilliant dad. You will be one of the lucky ones. 

Finally, Jake is beautiful. Just wait until you see him. Everyone says he looks just like you, but he's a good mix of you and Luke. He has your eyes though, exactly the same. You will love him with every fibre of your being and you won't care that he takes up every minute of every day. You'll be so proud.

I'm so proud of you. Of us. Of me.

Yours,
The future, wiser Me.x

9 comments:

  1. Ah bless, I love this. Such a sweet post. Pregnancy seems so long ago once they're out doesn't it? I for one am glad it's over ;)

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    1. Thank you Natalie! I have wanted to write something like this for a while, but I found it hard. I wasn't sure what it was I wanted to say, lol.

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    2. I suffered quite badly with sickness and dehydration until week 30. But after that, apart from the swollen feet, I enjoyed it! X

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  2. What a beautiful, inspiring post. It really would be wonderful if we could tell our pregnant selves this kind of advice x

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    1. Thanks hun! Yes I wish I had been able to read this when I was 2 weeks overdue lol x

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  3. I love this post. It's so true, you do miss it, I tried to enjoy it this time as I knew it was my last x

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    1. Aw thank you., congratulations on your pregnancy - yes definitely enjoy it :) I will savour it if we have another, definitely x

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