I must say that phrase several times a day.
'I'm just tired'.
With half term approaching there is a sense of desperation in the air; many of us working teacher-parents are clinging on to sanity in hopes we don't snap before the end of the next week arrives.
We are tired. Stressed. Worn out and, most likely, struck with some version of the school cold.
The cynical of you will think 'oh - another teacher holiday. You're so lucky'. And yes - we are lucky to be able to be at home in those weeks, but my evenings (like all of my evenings) will still be spent working endlessly to mark assessments for my groups (5 X 32 of them), plus 32 x year 11 mock exam papers and planning for lessons to teach the week I return. Not really a 'holiday' is it?
Don't get me wrong. I do love my job, but I love my family more and it is hard trying to strike a balance that means I am truly happy. I don't even try to make time for myself because there isn't any.
Right now, I am exhausted. Jake hasn't been right this last week, with several nights of poor/little sleep and work is hectic with things needing to be done. I feel as though I get older and more wrinkled with every day, and judging by the number of people who look at me and ask, 'are you ok?' suggests it might be the case.
But what hides behind our vague, blanket answers? The 'I'm fine' or 'I'm just tired' are almost automatic responses now. I think there's more to them - I know I feel utterly fed up ... and I am not the only one - but I don't want to offload my feelings every time someone asks me.
Are you hiding behind phatic responses to avoid unloading your real feelings? I'd love to hear from you.